Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Sometimes...life happens.



Dear Michael,

Over the weekend, we went over to visit our neighbor across the street, and you took your first steps to being a pop superstar by holding your first, albeit impromptu, recital. As the grown-ups were talking, you decided that you weren't receiving enough attention and, in typical Michael fashion, took matters into your own hands. Walking in the middle of the room with a miniature guitar, you boldly exclaimed, "Excuse me, guys!", and then proceeded to strum the guitar and sing the "Piccolodactyl" song from Little Einsteins. I have to admit, I was more than a little proud of you getting up there and performing like that - not to mention using such good(ish) manners beforehand. Since you were born, you have always responded so well to music, and even if you do not find a career in it, I hope that you will always appreciate music of all kinds.

Son, what I want to share with you today is something that you will need to consider carefully. The past couple of weeks have brought tragedy to several part of the country. Twice in a three day period, tornadoes ripped through several states, causing a nearly unimaginable amount of damage, and taking many lives. Many of the places that were affected by these storms were still recovering from similar storms that hit last year. Even here, we came very close to experiencing a direct hit, and were very fortunate to have come away with only a scary story. More than a week later, stories are still coming in, recounting terrible and frightening stories of people who were directly impacted by these massive storms - some losing everything.

Let me first say that this is not a lesson in emergency preparedness, what should have or should not have been done, or anything of the sort. I will not make light of the situation, or belittle the victims of these storms, by trying to sound like they were not prepared or wise enough to avoid what happened. My heart hurts for all of those affected by these storms, and your mother and I include them in our prayers daily. What I want to share with you is more about what happens after something like this happens. When tragedy occurs, whether its something as widespread as these storms, or something more personal, people have a natural tendency to need to understand why it happened - trying to make sense of it. This is  especially true when what has happened is something completely out of our control.

There are many possible reasons why we feel compelled to understand why bad things happen, but I believe that, for the most part, we seek the "why" for one main reason; to protect ourselves from the idea that what has happened to completely change and uproot our lives was just some meaningless, random event without meaning or significance. After all, if our lives can be forever changed be some random, unintentional event, then we are forced to acknowledge how vulnerable and helpless we can be, and that is not an easy thing for most of us. Understanding why something occurred can certainly be important. Understanding why something happened can teach us how to repeat or prevent something from happening in the future, and can help us to improve and grow. However, it is important to understand that there is another side to this - one that we often overlook.

My hope for you is that you will to come to understand that sometimes there just isn't a reason for the things that happen in our lives. Sometimes, things in life just happen, and in order to overcome them you will need to be prepared to accept the situation for what it is and move forward. I don't say this to tell you that you need to be callous, or to view it as weakness to want to understand why things happen. I want you to understand and accept that there are times when, if you get too wrapped up in trying to find the "why", you end up neglecting the things that are immediately important. Sometimes, it is more important to first take action to fix what has been broken, or to prevent further harm from happening. Once that happens, then you can try to figure out why it happened - if there is, in fact, a reason. Always keep this in mind, especially when working with others who have experienced tragedy in their lives. When helping others who have been through a tragedy, you need to understand this, and recognize when others are caught up in looking for the reason why it happened, and be prepared to help them to deal with the immediate situation first.

Son; in your life, things are going to happen that have no rational explanation or reason. You must be prepared to accept the fact that sometimes life just happens, and all you can do is deal with it and move forward - and, with compassion and understanding, help others do the same. If this letter seems a bit rambling, it's totally your fault...well, you and the rest of the transformers you keep jamming in my face. Time to go play.

More later!

Love,

Your Dad

1 comment:

  1. *two thumbs up* So many people spend so much of their lives trying to piece together their whys that they forget to live.

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