Friday, March 23, 2012
When I woke up this morning, I had it in my mind that I wanted to write to you and share something with you, but I really wasn't sure what I wanted to talk about. I thought about talking about something I read in the Hagakure last night, but thought twice in a row might be too much. Then I thought about talking with you about various stories that I've seen in the news over the past couple of weeks.
Then came the call.
When I first heard the words, I thought I was still asleep...or, maybe I just hoped that I was still asleep. The message from your papi said that your Aunt Rosi had passed away during the night. My first thought was for your Uncle Chris. My heart was broken at the thought of him having to endure such a loss, and living too far away to be there for him. Chris loved your Aunt Rosi so much. She made him happier than I have ever seen him, and she changed his life so much in the time that they were together. I struggled to think about what I could say to help ease the pain before I reminded myself that, sometimes, there just aren't any words.
Then, I thought about you and my heart broke a little more. Memories of the times that the two of you spent together flooded my thoughts, and I couldn't hold back the tears. Rosi loved and adored you so much. Whenever we would go to visit your grandparents, your mother and I would pick a day to drop you off with your grandma and go on a date. Whenever we did, Rosi would be right there to help take care of you. The two of you would play and laugh, and play some more - all day long, the two of you would cut up. When your mother and I would come and pick you up to take you back to the hotel, we literally had to drag you away kicking and screaming. You loved your Aunt Rosi as much as she loved you...it was really an amazing bond that the two of you shared. I am thankful that you are still young enough that I don't need to have the talk with you about it just yet. However, I'm sure that it will happen when we go to visit the family this fall.
I'm not looking forward to that talk.
By the time you read this, it will have been a while since you lost your Aunt Rosi. However, I have no doubt that you will still remember her, as you mother and I will always make sure that we honor her. What I want you to remember as you read this, and as you remember Rosi, is that the legacy of love endures. People often talk about how things we experience at a young age serve to help shape who we become as adults, and I happen to believe that past events can be a powerful forge through which we are all shaped.
However, when the idea of how past events influence present behavior is discussed, it's often done so in the context of how people have difficulty moving forward in life because of something negative from their past - often overlooking the influence of positive events as a shaping influence. Love can be as powerful at shaping one's life as any negative event, maybe even more. Remembering the love that someone had for us, and remembering the love that we share with others can change how we see ourselves, how we see others, and how we see the world around us.
Son, Rosi loved you with all of her heart, and that kind of love doesn't just go away. A love like that becomes a part of you...it changes you. The love that Rosi had for you is a part of you, and will always be a part of you. In a time where it seems like more and more often we see children left alone, abandoned, neglected and abused, I will forever be grateful that she was a part of your life, and reminded us all just how exciting, joyous, and embracing life can truly be. In a way, how you see the world will always be filtered through the bond that you and she shared, and that is the legacy of love...that is how love endures.
I know this letter may seem overly mushy or kind of rushed, but I think that this letter might be more for me than for you. I do hope that you will take these things to heart, and always remember your Aunt Rosi, who loved and adored you greatly.